Tell them in person, in private, and put the decision in the first sentence. Then give two specific things to work on, in writing, and one concrete place to play this season. Send the family a short note the same day, and hold a 24-hour rule before any parent meeting. That sequence is not just kindness. It is what keeps a cut player in basketball, keeps a returning player's family from turning on the program, and keeps your November from filling up with emails.
| How players find out | What it costs the coach | What it costs the player |
|---|---|---|
| List on the gym door or team app | Five minutes | Finds out in public, with no reason and no next step |
| Email or letter | An hour | Private, but no chance to ask a question |
| Phone call | An afternoon | A real conversation, but hard to hand over feedback |
| Short face-to-face meeting plus a written card | Two to three evenings | Private, respectful, and leaves with something to work on |
The last row is the expensive one, and it is the one coaches in the research say is right.
What the research says
The most useful study on this was written about coaches like you. Researchers at the University of Alberta interviewed 22 head coaches of competitive youth soccer, basketball, volleyball and ice hockey teams about how they cut players, and published the results in The Sport Psychologist in 2016. They found cutting is a four-phase process, not an event: a pre-tryout meeting, evaluation and decisions, communicating the decision, and reflecting afterward.
Three findings are directly usable:
- Most coaches considered an individual face-to-face meeting the most respectful method. One basketball coach put it as the least a coach can do to acknowledge the courage it took to try out.
- Private space, with an exit. Coaches set up the meeting so the player could leave without walking back into the gym in front of everyone.
- Players may not hear the feedback. Several coaches noticed that under that stress, players mostly want to know one thing, and may not process anything said around it.
That last point shapes the whole script below. Say the decision early, keep the spoken part short, and put the useful part on paper.
Before tryouts: the meeting that makes cut day easier
Almost every hard conversation on cut day was lost or won three weeks earlier. The coaches in the Alberta study held pre-tryout meetings as routine, and noted that the real audience was the parents.
Cover four things, in writing if you can:
1. The criteria. Skill, coachability, effort, understanding of the game, and what each is worth. Our 100-point tryout rubric is a starting point.
2. The numbers. How many players try out in a typical year and how many roster spots exist. Families take cuts better when they knew the odds.
3. How the news will be delivered. When, where, and that every player who is cut will get a meeting and written feedback.
4. The parent rule. No conversations about selection until 24 hours after the decision, and never about another player.
Then run tryouts that match what you promised. If you said effort counts, have an assistant score it.
Setting up the room
- Book 5 to 7 minutes per player. Long enough to be human, short enough that nobody waits an hour.
- Use an office or classroom with a separate exit. Not the gym, not the hallway outside the locker room.
- Have an assistant in the room. For the player's comfort and your protection, especially with minors.
- Write each player's card before the meeting starts. You will not write good feedback between meetings.
- Tell the players who made it at the same time or after, so nobody learns their status from a group chat before you speak to them.
The script
Here is a version that works for most players. Change the words, keep the order.
1. The decision, first. "Thank you for coming in. I want to be direct with you: you did not make the varsity roster this year."
2. One sentence of why. "The guards we kept this year are further ahead right now in handling pressure and defending on the ball, and those were the two things we weighted most."
3. One real strength. "Your shooting off the catch was as good as anyone's in the gym, and your effort in every drill was noticed."
4. The next step. "I want you playing this winter. JV has a spot for you" or "The rec league and the club program at the Y both start in November, and I will send you the contacts."
5. The door, left open. "Here is a card with two things to work on before next year. I would like to see you in open gym in the spring."
Then stop talking and let them ask a question. If they do not want to, that is fine. Walk them to the exit.
The feedback card
Hand every cut player a half-page card. It is the part they will actually read, later, when the moment has passed.
| On the card | Example |
|---|---|
| What you did well | Catch-and-shoot three-point shooting; effort in every drill |
| Two things to work on | Left-hand finishing; defending the ball handler without reaching |
| How to work on them | Twenty minutes, four days a week, on the drills listed on the back |
| Where to play this season | JV, rec league, or club, with a contact |
| When to try out next | Date of spring open gym and next year's tryout |
| Coach contact | Your school email |
Two things, not six. A list of six weaknesses is a verdict. Two is a plan.
Returners and seniors
Cutting a player who was on the team last year is the hardest version, and the one that generates the most parent contact. In a September 2025 r/basketballcoach thread, a high school coach described 160 players trying out for 40 spots, cutting nine returners, and receiving roughly 30 emails from parents afterward. The advice from other coaches in the thread was consistent: be honest, meet one on one, point them to a club or rec team, and offer a real role if one exists.
Two cautions. Offer a manager or practice-player role only if it is genuine, with real responsibilities, never as a consolation prize. And never imply a spot next year. "Keep working and try out again" is honest. "You will make it next year" is a promise you cannot keep.
The parent email
Send it the same evening, to every cut player's family. Short, factual, and consistent with what you said in the room. Here is a template:
"Thank you for supporting [Player] through tryouts this week. I met with [Player] today to share that [he/she/they] did not make the varsity roster this season. We had [number] players try out for [number] spots, and our decisions followed the criteria we shared at the preseason meeting. [Player] has real strengths, especially [strength], and I gave [him/her/them] a written plan with two areas to work on. I would love to see [Player] playing this winter, and [JV / the rec league / club] is a great option. If you would like to talk, I am glad to meet after [date], in line with our 24-hour policy."
It confirms the decision, shows the process was fair, repeats the positive, and sets the rules for a follow-up, all without debating anything.
When parents push back
The coaches in the Alberta study said the parents, not the players, were often the hardest part. Some worried about parents waiting outside the door. A few practices keep that from escalating:
- Hold the 24-hour rule. Nobody has a good conversation the night of cuts.
- Bring your athletic director to any meeting likely to be difficult, and tell the parent in advance who will be there.
- Talk only about their child and the criteria you published. Never compare to another player.
- Do not reopen the decision. Listen, explain the criteria, share the development plan, and end the meeting.
What not to do
- Post the list and leave the building.
- Text the news, or let the team app do it.
- Deliver cuts in the gym or hallway where other players can see.
- Give a list of every weakness you noticed.
- Promise a spot next year.
- Mention playing time for players who made the team.
After the season starts
The best programs follow up. A short message in January asking how the player is doing, an invitation to watch a practice, and a spring open-gym date on the calendar tell a cut player the door was real. Plenty of good players are late developers, and our guide to the development path for late bloomers is worth sending to families who ask what comes next.
Cut day is one decision among hundreds you will make this season. Evaluate carefully, communicate with care, and then get to the part you signed up for: coaching the team you picked.
Coach the team you picked
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